The Idol of Self: Why You Don't Need to 'Find Yourself'

The culture says to put yourself first.

The culture says to treat others how you are treated.

The culture says you can be whatever you want to be.

The culture says a lot about loving ourselves and putting ourselves first—but not nearly enough about putting others first. In this day and age, it’s easy to walk through life thinking only about our own feelings and emotions.

Not to say that you don’t matter, but at the same time—you don’t. At least, not compared to the God who created the universe. The God who spoke the heavens and earth into existence (Genesis 1:1). The God who formed mankind in His image (Genesis 1:27). The God who holds the stars in place (Psalm 147:4).

Compared to Him, our self-importance fades fast.

What God Actually Commands

Jesus makes it simple when He identifies the two greatest commandments:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” — Matthew 22:37–39 (ESV)

Do you know what’s not anywhere in that passage? Put yourself first. Love yourself most.

Why are these two commandments inseparable? Because love for people flows out of love for God. Every person you encounter bears the image of God. To sin against another is to sin against Him (Proverbs 14:31). How we treat others is a direct reflection of our hearts (Luke 6:45).

This is why God never commands us to love ourselves—because self-love comes naturally to sinful people (2 Timothy 3:2). What doesn’t come naturally is putting God and others before ourselves. That takes humility and obedience.

Created for More Than Ourselves

God has given each of us unique gifts and talents (Romans 12:6). But those gifts are not for our self-glorification. They’re for His glory and His Kingdom.

When we use our lives to elevate ourselves, we’re no different than Adam and Eve in the garden, choosing independence from God over submission to Him (Genesis 3:4–6). The result is the same: separation from God both in this life and the next. Jesus Himself warns that apart from Him, eternal separation is inevitable (John 15:5–6).

But the good news is this: God has a plan for your life. Not a plan to glorify you, but a plan to glorify Himself through you (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28). He wants to redeem your story, transform your heart, and use you for His greater purpose.

Stop Trying to “Find Yourself”

You don’t need to “find yourself” to discover fulfillment. What you need is to find Christ.

Jesus calls us to die to self so that we may truly live:

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” — Galatians 2:20 (ESV)

When you exalt yourself, you’ll find stress, unpredictability, and disappointment. But when you exalt Christ, you find peace in His sovereignty (Philippians 4:6–7). You find rest in His unchanging nature (Hebrews 13:8). And you find purpose in serving others (Mark 10:45).

The Challenge

We don’t need more people chasing self-help slogans. We need more people chasing Jesus.

So here’s the challenge: the next time you’re tempted to put yourself first, pause. Look for a way to serve your neighbor instead. Buy someone a meal. Offer encouragement. Forgive someone who hurt you. Pray for someone you’d rather ignore.

When you put others first, you’re putting Christ first. And in doing so, you step into the person God created you to become.

“Less of me, more of Him.” That’s the only way forward.

John 3:30 (NIV)

"He must become greater; I must become less."